A client sharing her feelings around her body and eating habits

I have an eating disorder

I have been obsessed with how my body looks in the mirror for as long as I remember, in underwear and in clothes.

My shape is so unflattering, I am not curvy, I am slight but not toned, flabby especially my stomach. My bum sags, thighs feel loose.

My obsession worsens when a holiday is approaching, the thought of getting into a bikini gives me the most amount of anxiety.

There’s always at least one supermodel where ever you go, all the curves in the correct places, tall, toned and tanned. It kills my confidence and you can see everyone looking at her like she’s a goddess!

Im not jealous, i am frustrated, I am angry, why am I so miserable and obsessed with how I look?

People say it’s vanity, narcissism and pathetic but I can’t control it. I eat half a sandwich a day, drink coffee, feel exhausted and down often.

I am so rigid in what I eat, when I eat and where.

The hungrier I go to bed the better I feel the next morning because my belly feels flatter.

I work out but yo-yo, I can’t keep it up for long periods of time because it drains my energy.

I need help, support, saving from myself

Anonymous